Parent Child and Sibling Estrangement

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/01/why-parents-and-kids-get-estranged/617612/ 

https://www.insider.com/why-i-cut-contact-with-brother-sibling-estrangement-2020-5

I left my hometown decades ago. My contacts were at best sporadic. Maintaining a positive relationship with a family member can be quite difficult if it always focuses on the past or old patterns of social control, psychological dominance reassert themselves after a reconciliation due to parents' death or similar. There are good reasons in basic personality structure why siblings don' t like hometown or family and move away and cut contact. Thinking that decades can heal rifts is often false. My marriage for example has a structure based on our personalities and it is anything but perfect but one gets used to it and it was something I chose as an adult and was not born with. This makes it, regardless of how difficult it may seem at times, less constricting than original family relationship, particularly if they were quite traumatized. Having that endlessly relived can be hell on earth if the members left behind can never grow beyond the old experiences.