What Really Happens When You Hug a Tree

https://medium.com/the-haven/what-really-happens-when-you-hug-a-tree-71e76f7e3bb1

 Have you ever hugged a tree before? Remember the time when you were drunk and out with your friends. You and your friends were walking along a forested road and you that you wanted to use the bathroom. You walk into the darkness of the woods and use the restroom next to a tree but instead of urinating on it, you gave it a hug. A giant bear hug. You gave that tree a hug so long that you fell asleep. Your drunk friends got tired of waiting so they left you while you were sleeping with your arms around a tree.

You wake up. You tried to get off the tree but the tree has two of its large branches wrapped around you. The tree hugged you back. You wondered how can a tree hug someone? You panic because the tree has you stuck. The tree loves you. It doesn’t want you to leave. The tree just wanted human contact and it came for you the moment you came for it.

Your phone has been buzzing for the past 8 hours. Your parents sent out a search team to look for you since you never came home last night. Your friends thought you disappeared deep in the woods and were eaten by wolves or captured by witches or bigfoot. No, you’re just stuck to a hugging tree.

A week goes by and you are still hugging that tree…well, the tree is still hugging you. Eventually, you spend your entire young adult years attached to that tree. Your friends and family stopped looking for you. You’ve become an old man. Your hair and beard grow out and turns white and guess what? That tree is still hugging you.

How are you still alive, you ask? The tree is feeding you. Your shirt is soaked in tree sap but that tree sap goes into your pores and feeds your body the tree nutrients it needs to stay alive. The tree is feeding you love. Every human wants love. That’s why the tree is hugging you. It’s giving you eternal love. You can never leave. Ever.

Eventually, you die and the tree consumes your corpse. You slowly turn into a tree. Your body turns into tree bark and your hair turns into small vines. Your body slowly sinks into the body of the tree. Within three years, your corpse is inside the tree. You have become the tree and the tree has become you.

And that is what happens when you hug a tree. If it is a brief ten-second hug, that’s fine but any longer than that, you risk waking up the tree. The tree reads your extended hug as “I want to be a part of you”. The tree sees you sending that message and it hugs you back.

You might panic and run away but that won’t happen. While the tree moves its branches, it also releases an odorless gas that you breathe in. It’s supposed to keep you relaxed. It keeps you attached to the tree so that you don’t run away while it wraps its branches around you. You are calm and you feel loved.

After the tree’s drug effects wear out, panic will set in but at that point, it's too late. You will remain attached to the tree until you die.

And after that point, the tree engulfs your corpse in the span of three years. Every tree has some person inside of it waiting to hug more people so more people can become the tree.

So the next time you decide to hug a tree, remember this. Some trees will never hug you but most trees will. When a tree hugs you back, don’t panic. It’s too late. Just know that you are now a new member of the Tree Club

https://dirt.asla.org/2020/12/17/hug-a-tree-for-15-minutes-and-complain-to-it/

I should write my own article "Tree Kundalini". An earlier video below on earthing shows a mans foot bathed in electric current. If the earth has a current, voltage then the treees share that and unlike with the earth I don't need to take off my shoes. I hug trees fully clothed and feel a surge of energy. Avatar film was good. We should abandon agriculture and return to the wild. I talk a lot about civilizational cycles of ca. 1000 years but perhaps there is more than that. Maybe we will not just forget high culture but agriculture and animal husbandry after our holocene and return to nature. Our germs killed indians who did that to a great extent.