Energy, Spiritual Developments

 While doing yoga in my room I might focus on the picture of my guru. I suppose a christian might use Jesus, a catholic some saint or the virgin Mary. At any rate I find that I develop energy over time while focusing on him. As opposed to my experiences with female figures, where heart and sexual chakras can develop strongly, I find that in this case my entire belly area is stimulated. In a general sense then one might say that, for example, if one grew up in a one sex environment, having only sisters or brothers, one might tend to have a certain emotional focus, heart felt or action centered. If I, having only brothers and sons, being a bit awkward, inept, insensitive perhaps, spends some years in a heavily female work environment, as I have recently, will have adjusted somewhat my emotional balance. Now after having learned more about yin aspects at a deeper energetic level, I need help in getting through some energetic blockages which the energies of the softer sex, strong though they may be, do not seem to penetrate as deeply as my guru. This will give me more assertiveness and self assurance, without being overly aggressive, whereas the female energies make me compassionate or passionate. The head and throat chakras seem balanced between the two sexes I believe, in their effect on me. Generally I don' t feel male energies all that much. Unfortunately with a kundalini awakening, chakras can get quite awakened and unpredictable. Even without this phenomenon, many people seem to pick up on people' s vibes in general to a debilitating extent, calling themselves empaths, wondering whose feelings they are perceiving as they walk into a party or feeling sad for no reason, actually absorbing another' s heart energy nearby. Stabilizing this energy field takes lots of work on the body, physical and energetic, as energy is like water. It surges through muscles, tendons, nerves. Stretching, strengthening, feeding properly and learning to observe over time( relationship growth) are all important to acheive dynamic balance in your growth ccycle. I wonder where this is all headed. What might have irritated me some time ago is now quite natural in terms of pressures, heat sensations everywhere and corresponding emotional or behavioral changes adapting to personalities I come into contact with. I believe that inside I am getting more flexible or youthful and able to become like the people whose energy I absorb for longer periods of time and at a distance, not just at that moment when together and with very long contact. So the more intense the development the more one can get out of it in effect. Thsy talk about telepathy or levitation or healing or predictive powers. I am a bit empathic as my talent and this seems to grow and deepen systematically. A medium might practice with a crystal ball and have an ever better sight, ever deeper into the future for example if this were part of their horoscope. Another might have an amazing knack for healing people by laying on of hands once his energy centers are activated, a talent fully unsuspected before this was coincidentally discovered. I tend to believe that we all have hidden X- Men in us waiting to come out, once our khndalini is awakened. Whether that would be positively seen  evolution or just nuisance phenomena, blocking our path to ultimate enlightenment, is another question. Seen in this light our human intellect is just such a blockage. At any rate after a quarter century of steady yoga practice I see lots of  results accumulating. I like to see holistic results in the whole body, not just mental states, too easily devastated when thirty minute meditation is forgotten or diet is off. Deep energy states, transforming chakra centers, connecting with others, nature, stars, Guru, God are intensely satisfying. I actually get bored quite easily, always want the next thrill and am rather cynical so if I am satisfied that is going some ways. And all this as a bored middle class nobody. Why such ambition, excitement, pursuit of fame, money, sex, wealth?